Deserted of Memories
by Emerald-Sparkle
Summary: AU. Eiji finds an amnesic Fuji in the middle of the desert. Eiji takes him in, but their lives get disrupted when they find themselves involved in a war. And what about Fuji's mysterious past? FujixEiji
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.

* * *

_When he opened his eyes, all he saw was sand._

_He sat up, blinked several times and even rubbed his eyes but the scene did not change._

_The burning sun, the dry wind and the boundless dunes were still there._

_And he was alone._

_

* * *

_

**Deserted of Memories**

Chapter One**  
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* * *

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Eiji was depressed.

No, he was not going to eat poison, slit his wrists and jump into a moat, but he was still in a state of pure misery. After spending hours wandering around in the middle of a desert, with no sense of direction or any ideas on how to get out, he was indeed feeling very depressed. To make things worse, the day had been predicted to have soaring temperatures and with no water, Eiji could not quite figure out how he would survive. It was no surprise that he was so dispirited.

Especially when he came across that dead body.

The corpse was that of a boy, no more than fifteen years old. Silky, brown hair framed the pale face and the boy's eyes were closed in a peaceful, almost sleep-like way. Eiji also noticed that the boy had rather effeminate features, with smooth skin, pink lips and a slim body structure. He also determined that the boy would not have been dead too long.

Eiji recognised that part of his bleak gloom was fear. The cold, slimy feeling was slowly swamping his emotions, and for a long time, all he could do was stare at the corpse; that poor, pitiful body that was lying discarded in the sand. It was a reminder of his current predicament and he was determined not to die in the same way. Reality was not so easy though.

As Eiji stared into the unmoving face, he felt a sudden surge of loneliness and regret. He wished so much that the boy would come back to life, so that he could have a companion to share his troubles with.

It was ironic that when the corpse twitched, Eiji screamed.

* * *

_(Eiji's POV)_

_Calm down, calm down_, I thought to myself. _Corpses don't move. There are heaps of other logical explanations. Maybe it was the wind? Or it was my imagination. If the corpse moves again, I'll just run in the opposite direction._

However, when the corpse did stir again, I could only watch, frozen in shock, as the boy seemingly revived and sleepily blinked open his eyes.

His eyes. They were mesmerising, a pure cerulean blue that was exotic in the most mystical, otherworldly way. I would gladly drown myself in that ocean of blue, be swept up by the eternal beauty of his eyes. How I wished, how I _wanted_, to own those eyes, to possess them, to possess _him_. I desired him and I would do anything to get him –

I snapped out of my daze. What was I saying? Why was I having such ridiculous thoughts about a boy whom I had previously thought was dead? No, I was simply stunned, that was all. Just because he had beautiful eyes did not mean I was _in love_ with him. However, as much as I tried to deny my feelings, there was still a yearning inside of me that would not, _could not_, subside. I ignored it.

"Who are you, nya? What are you doing in the desert?" I gave the boy my brightest grin, hoping to cover up my inner turmoil, as well as truly being interested in finding out answers.

Meanwhile, the boy had – thankfully – closed his eyes and was also wearing a smile. He laughed at my eager questions, a soft, melodious sound almost as exotic as his eyes. Inwardly I cursed myself for thinking that.

"I'm not quite sure," the boy replied, tilting his head in thought. "I remember waking up in this desert and trying to find a way out. However, I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, I'm waking up again, although this time you're here. I don't know why I am in this desert."

"I'm kinda lost too," I admitted. "But we can find a way out together, it'll be quicker."

Yes, that was the only reason I wanted his help. So I could finally get out of this accursed desert. I wasn't trying to spend time with him, not at all.

. . . fine, maybe I do have a small _attraction_ to him. But that's all it is and ever will be.

"Anyway, I'm Kikumaru Eiji, but you can just call me Eiji. And you are?"

"Ah, about that . . . I don't actually know."

"You . . . don't know?"

"What I mean is, I can't remember anything about myself, or my life in general. I think I've got amnesia."

_Great. Not only do I find myself crushing on a guy I found in the desert, it turns out he's lost all his memories too._

_

* * *

_

In the end Eiji and the boy _did_ find their way out of the desert and they managed to arrive at Eiji's home village just before night fell. However, their ordeal had left them tired, thirsty and irritated and Eiji could not wait to ditch his companion and sleep.

However, the fact remained that in his amnesic state, the boy would be unlikely to survive without help, and that 'help' came in the form of a reluctant Eiji. It wasn't that Eiji hated the brunet. The real problem was that he liked him too much.

If Eiji ever thought that the longer he spent with the boy, the more apathetic and indifferent he would become, he would be wrong. Instead, each time he laid eyes on the other, the more infatuated he became. Just one glance would make Eiji's mind reeling out of control as his heart sped up and heat rose to his face. A smile did even more and Eiji found it harder and harder to resist jumping the boy then and there. He hated the way just one person could make him feel so insecure, so irregular, so _helpless_. And he disgusted himself each time he was reduced to a lovesick fool, blushing and stuttering his way through the day.

"Is something the matter, Eiji-kun?"

"Eh? Ah n-no, nothing's wrong," Eiji stammered out. He didn't even notice that he had started frowning, a murderous look in his eyes as he contemplated his situation. What happened to the bright and cheerful Eiji that was carefree and really _did_ have nothing wrong?

At last the two boys arrived outside a bakery. Through the window, one could see that the store was full of dust and cobwebs with rows of empty shelves. Next to the bakery entrance was a narrow staircase, leading to the living quarters on the second floor.

"The bakery closed down a couple of years ago," Eiji explained. "I live upstairs. It's quite small but that's what makes it cosy."

The other boy only nodded and followed as Eiji led the way up the stairs. Eiji's home only consisted of three rooms: a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom, but the whole village seemed to be lacking financially. Eiji rummaged through the cupboards and quickly found a spare mattress and sheets and set them up near to his own bed.

"Time to get some sleep!" Eiji announced. "We'll sort out everything tomorrow."

The brunet nodded again and soon was in what Eiji assumed to be a deep sleep.

Now if only Eiji could ignore the fact that his _interest_ was lying so defencelessly next to him, he might actually get some rest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Deserted of Memories**

Chapter Two

* * *

"_Eh? So you're the famous Fuji-sama?"_

_Confusion. Terror. Darkness. _

"_Your companions are all dead. And you can join them in hell."_

_The glint of a blade. A sudden flash. And pain, so much pain. It felt as if his body was on fire and he was dimly aware of the warm liquid soaking into the ground, the world dyed crimson in suffering._

_Laughing, jeering, cruel taunts and endless screams that pierced the night air. Time seemed to stop as a storm of shadowed sand swept across the land, clouding his vision with swirls of the deepest red. And then he was sinking in a sea of anguish, lost in the depths of agony as the landscaped darkened to match the blackness of sin, his cries echoing the ache in his heart –_

"Nya, wake up! Are you okay? What's wrong? You were screaming! Did you have a nightmare? Did you remember anything? Or is it something else?"

He opened his eyes to see the redhead leaning over him. Worry was etched clearly on the other's face and in the reflection of Eiji's eyes, he could see himself: breathless and dishevelled, eyes wide in what seemed to be a traumatic expression.

"Ne, ah . . . are you okay?" Eiji asked again, seeming to calm down a little.

"Fuji."

"Huh?"

"I think my name is Fuji."

Silence.

_3._

_2._

_1._

"WHAT? You remembered? That's great! I can finally call you something! It's awesome! Ne, ne?"

Fuji smiled. Any trace of anxiety was gone as Eiji rambled on in his excitement, bouncing up and down on his bed. He had been right on betting that the prospect of his memories returning was enough to keep Eiji distracted, though maybe not for long.

However, deep down, Fuji was feeling very insecure. What had that nightmare been about? 'Fuji' was, after all, just a diversion, and most likely not his real name. He also doubted that the troubling events were fragments of his memories but the fear and ambiguity of the dream lingered even though he was wide awake. Another troubling thing was the actual fact that he could not remember who he was. A frantic part of him yearned for the safety of knowledge, of remembering but another part dreaded the truth. He hoped, hoped so desperately that the source of his amnesia was falling onto a rock, or something equally accidental. He did not – would not – believe that he had been through any sort of distressing scenario.

"Nya, Fujiko, I want you to meet my friend later! He owns a grocery shop. I sort of help out to, you know, earn some money."

Fuji immediately blinked out of his thoughts. In a way, he was starting a new life now, the life of Fuji, Kikumaru Eiji's friend. From now on, he promised himself, he would always smile and be happy. Eiji did not need to be burdened with anymore of Fuji's troubles. His previous memories were no use to him locked up in a corner of his mind and now they would not matter anymore. He was beginning a new stage.

The truth was, the first time Fuji had awoken, he had been scared senseless. With no idea who he was, where he was and why he was in a goddamned _desert_, fear for the future, for his life, for his sanity overtook him and he had sat helpless for countless hours in a frozen, detached state. Eventually, his fatigue must have made him doze off, but when he woke up again to see another person, his mind finally decided to get a move on and he was very relieved when Eiji had suggested working together. With that in mind, he had been very confused when Eiji had acted awkward one moment, then energetic the next. The mood changes had Fuji immensely puzzled, but now that they had arrived in Eiji's village, he hoped that Eiji would be back to normal, or at least, back to what Fuji thought was normal for Eiji. However, Fuji noticed that Eiji purposely avoided looking at the bakery when leaving the building.

"Is something wrong with the bakery?"

Fuji saw Eiji stiffen and knew at once that something was indeed wrong. Eiji's stammered reply of "No" also furthered his suspicions and Fuji was filled with a sudden concern for the redhead. Now that he thought about it, he barely knew anything about Eiji. Sure, Eiji had been optimistic and friendly, even allowing Fuji to stay at his place until his memories returned, but Eiji had never talked much about himself and his life. Instead, their conversations had been about trivial things like the weather, the landscape and the weather again.

As the two boys walked down the street, the differences between their lives became more apparent. The people that dotted the sides of the road all greeted Eiji in familiar terms, their cheerful voices ringing above the noise of everyday life. Other people came up and started conversing, talking about a whole manner of things, none of which Fuji understood. Some asked about Eiji's unknown companion but Fuji remained largely ignored, making the brunet feel even more out of place. What right did he have to barge into Eiji's life? However, the other didn't seem to mind and Fuji was even more convinced that in return, he would try to help Eiji as much as he could and lessen the burden he was placing.

"Ah, Eiji! You've come! You never came back yesterday, I was so worried. You weren't kidnapped, were you? Or associating with criminals?"

Fuji immediately grew annoyed at whoever the frantic voice belonged to. He may not have been the best thing that happened to Eiji, but he was no criminal. He looked around to see a young man gazing worriedly at Eiji. He was standing in front of a grocery shop and Fuji realised that this must have been Eiji's friend.

"Ah, gomen, Oishi. I kinda got lost," Eiji replied with a vivid grin, which irritated Fuji even more. Eiji had never smiled so brightly at him, what did that Oishi guy have that he didn't?

_Probably the fact that he's actually Eiji's friend, not a random stranger_, Fuji thought bitterly.

Eiji briefly introduced Fuji to Oishi, before spending the next couple of hours working at the shop, serving customers as well as performing other tasks around the shop. Fuji watched them and felt other people staring curiously at him, but he could not quite trust Oishi enough to leave Eiji with him. However, the more he saw, the more he realised that Oishi was actually very caring and reliable. Maybe he just envied the way Eiji was so natural and carefree around the grocery shop owner. Fuji just wished that sooner or later, Eiji could be as open around him too.

"Oishi! I'm going over to stock up on bread!" Eiji called, before leaving the shop.

Fuji narrowed his eyes. He did not want to be stuck alone with Oishi. After fuming for several moments, all of a sudden, he realised that he could ask Oishi questions about Eiji. He doubted that the kind-hearted young man realised Fuji's cold attitude hidden behind his smile.

"Saa . . . Oishi, isn't it? I'm Fuji. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Ah, nice to meet you too, Fuji-kun. Eiji told me that you lost your memories and are currently staying with him."

"That's right, but I would like to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"What connection does Eiji have to the bakery that he lives above?"

Oishi took a sharp breath. "Why . . . do you want to know?"

"There is something about that bakery isn't there? Eiji seems troubled by it."

"I shouldn't be telling you."

"But I need to know," Fuji pressed. "I owe Eiji so much and I want to help him with any of his problems. However, I can't do that if I don't know what's wrong."

There were a few moments of awkward silence. Oishi shifted nervously several times but Fuji would not back down. So Oishi seemed to reconsider and was deep in thought for several minutes assessing the situation before he finally relented.

"Maybe it would be in Eiji's best interests if I tell you. The story isn't dramatic, or anything near dramatic, but it is still a sensitive topic for Eiji. The bakery probably reminds Eiji of his parents."

"His parents?"

"Yes. The bakery used to be owned by his parents . . . before they, along with Eiji's siblings all died."

"What?"

"It happened a couple of years ago. Eiji and his family were supposed to visit their relatives, who live across the desert."

Fuji nodded. Eiji had explained that the land was split up into several kingdoms. Eiji's village was on the edge of one of those kingdoms, right next to the desert that acted as a landmark between the lands of Sei and Shun. Eiji had further explained that while Sei was one of the largest kingdoms, its large mass of land caused Sei to lack financially. Consequently, even Eiji's village was quite poor, even though it was situated right next to the castle. Shun was the opposite, small but its successful silk and gem trading allowed the land to flourish. As a result, a marriage had been arranged between the princess of Sei and the prince of Shun so that the two kingdoms could benefit from an alliance.

Oishi continued. "To get to the land of Shun from this village, you either have to make a long journey around the desert, or risk a trip straight across. His parents had originally planned to take the long route, but a couple of days before they were set to leave, Eiji fell sick. Unfortunately, the aspects of their arrival in Shun had already been planned so his parents decided to leave Eiji in my care while they took the way through the desert so that they could return quicker. However, due to some form of extreme bad luck, a large sandstorm swept across the desert on that day and Eiji's parents and siblings never arrived at his relatives place. Their bodies were never found, most likely buried forever in the dunes."

"S-so, since then?"

"Eiji has never quite been the same since then. He closed down his parent's bakery and moved from his house into the spare rooms above the bakery. It was supposedly to save space but I think Eiji just couldn't deal with living in the same place when his family weren't there. I try to look after him as best as I can but he blames himself for falling sick on that day. He decided that on the anniversary of their disappearance, he would travel into the desert and spend the morning there. That was why he was there yesterday. However, I'm not quite sure how he managed to get lost, he is always careful to remember the path he took."

"Maybe it was a sandstorm?"

"I'm not sure. Either way, I'm glad he met you. He may deny it but he's actually quite lonely living by himself. People have suggested that he move in with them, but he doesn't want to become a charity case. I hope you will look after Eiji when I'm not there. You are probably the best thing that has happened to Eiji lately."

Fuji's eyes shot open. What was Oishi saying? Why was he being so nice?

"My presence here will be more troublesome than helpful."

"No. You can help Eiji become more responsible. And maybe help him move on."

Suddenly, the bell of above the shop door chimed as Eiji came bursting in with a box full of bread.

"I'm back! And what's this about me?"

"Oh, ah, it's nothing," Oishi stammered. "I'll go put that bread in the storage room."

As Oishi left, the atmosphere grew awkward as neither party knew what to say.

_Why aren't you so relaxed around me? You try to be light-hearted but you never seem to be comfortable. What do I have to do to make you truly smile at me?_

Finally, Fuji was the first to speak up. "Eiji, I want to reopen the bakery under your home."

"NO! Did Oishi tell you something about me?"

The harshness and outright rejection of the idea had Fuji startled. However it just made him more determined to break the wall Eiji had created around his past.

"Oishi didn't tell me anything," Fuji replied. Since the young man had been of such a great assistance, Fuji figured he owed him one. "But living on top of an abandoned bakery is bad for your state of mind. And Oishi did tell me that you own it."

"Oh, you think I'll go crazy? That bakery is better off as it is, forgotten and discarded."

"Like the memories of your parents and siblings?"

"So Oishi _did_ tell you something!"

"You can't wallow in self-guilt for the rest of your life! Your family would have wanted you to remember and move on."

"How would you know? You don't get anything because you're just a weird amnesic freak. I was perfectly fine before you intruded into my life!"

Fuji felt as if he had been slapped. Did Eiji really mean that? Had he just sabotaged everything with Eiji?

Another awkward silence ensured and Fuji lowered his eyes. "I'll go if I'm that bothersome."

Eiji seemed to realise that he had hurt Fuji's feelings. "Ah, I didn't mean that. I don't mind you being here."

"I don't belong here. I can't do anything. I'm just a bother."

"That's not true! Unless, this is the reason you want to reopen the bakery? So you have something to do?"

"Yes. Only, I've never baked before and I don't want to burn the place down." _Help me. Spend time with me. Work together with me again._

"I know how to bake, but I'm supposed to help out Oishi." _I've never tried this before. I don't want to make any mistakes._

"I'm sure Oishi wouldn't mind. With his personality, he could easily find another assistant," Fuji insisted. He gave Eiji his best pleading expression. "Please?

_Choose the bakery. Choose to take chance. Choose me._

Eiji blushed and averted his eyes. "Maybe I'll give it a go."

_Yes._


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: In case anyone was wondering, this AU is set in a sort of medievil place, but with some modern technology.

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**Deserted of Memories**

Chapter Three

* * *

The sun was setting.

Deep saffron tinged with cream and lavender filled the heavens, soft wisps of clouds visible in the dimming light. A golden glow illuminated the land, and the silvery outline of the moon hung just above the horizon. The faint shimmer of stars could be seen in the darker sections of the sky, promising a clear, sparkling night. Bustling noises during the daytime had long ceased as the evening drew near, leaving only the soothing sounds of nature to fill the atmosphere.

Sunsets were truly beautiful.

"Sunsets are repetitive."

Eiji immediately bolted up and spun around, only to find that it was Fuji who caused the interruption.

"Sunsets are a unique feature of nature. However, they become predictable, as each sunset is no different from the rest. Soon enough, every sunset you watch blends in with the others in your memory and what was once a spectacle becomes unsurprising."

Eiji blinked at the unexpected explanation. "So you hate sunsets?"

"No," Fuji replied. "They may be lacking change, but they are still very beautiful."

Several moments passed in peaceful admiration of the colours that blended in the sky, simply relaxing at the at the edge of the village, gazing out to the horizon. The spreading dunes of the dessert seemed deceivingly gentle as the land faded out in a mixture of yellow. The day was growing cooler, but the gentle breeze that swept across the land felt refreshing. Tranquillity could not get better.

It had been several weeks since Eiji and Fuji had opened the bakery. After many days of planning and organisation, they were finally able to start their new project. And Eiji would be the first to agree that the first couple of days were chaotic and rather unsuccessful. However, as experience grew, so did their baking skills, and well as the knowledge needed to run a store. It wasn't long before the only bakery in the village attracted a lot of customers, leading both boys to feel a great sense of pride and satisfaction. Ever since Fuji, and all his ideas, made themselves present in Eiji world, his everyday activities had been transformed into a mix of something hectic, but truly fun and interesting.

Life was good. Normal.

And that's what Eiji thought.

Therefore he blamed the faint humming noise on his imagination.

The quick shuffling of footsteps was due to the wind.

So he was completely taken by surprise when someone knocked him over with a shout of "Look out!" and the life he had previously known completely exploded.

* * *

Fuji felt like a boulder had rolled over him. His whole body ached and all he could do was stare up into the darkening sky as tendrils of pale crimson intertwined with the amber, along with a strangle bird that was quickly flying away. In fact, he was once again becoming entranced by that predictable yet truly fascinating sunset. Fuji would not have been surprised if he spent the whole night staring as the colours of the heavens faded into an indigo. Yet his thoughts immediately turned to the still figure he could see in his peripheral vision.

Immediately, Fuji sat up and instantly regretted it as a jolt of pain shot up through his body. However, his mind was focused on the strange girl that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. She seemed no older than 10, with long, dark hair styled in twin braids. A dark, blue cloak was wrapped around her and she was wearing some sort of white, fluffy slippers.

Suddenly, a groan came from his right. With a stab of guilt, Fuji realised he had forgotten all about Eiji. He quickly rushed over and was alarmed to see that the redhead was sporting a large gash on his forehead, mostly likely caused by the bits of debris that were lying around.

Bit of debris?

At last, Fuji took a good look at his surroundings. The desert was still on one side, yes, very normal. However, the only thing that remained of the village was a wreckage of splintered wood and a dead, still silence.

"Eiji, wake up."

Fuji nudged the other boy, until Eiji finally opened his eyes with a groan.

"Fujiko? What happened?"

Fuji avoided the eyes that stared inquiringly at him. How was he supposed to tell Eiji that the village he had been living in for all of his life had just been trashed? However, it seemed as if he didn't need to as Eiji made a strangled gasp and struggled up, gaping at what was left of his home, the sparks of horror and panic lighting his expression.

"Fujiko, tell me, _what happened_? Is anyone alive? What about Oishi? Who _did this_?"

"I - I don't know, Eiji."

"I do."

Fuji tensed and twisted around to see the small girl from before staring defiantly back at him. It was Eiji that spoke first.

"Who - who are you? How do you know what happened?"

Eiji's wary tone made the girl wince, but she continued nevertheless. "You can call me Sa – _Tomoka_."

Instantly, Fuji knew that the girl had given an alias, but it was unsurprising to be wary of strangers, especially after the confusing things that had already happened.

"I'm from the castle."

This new piece of information caused Fuji to stifle a gasp of surprise. The castle could only mean the residence of the royal family of Sei, situated only a hundred or so kilometres away from Eiji village - or what remained of it. What business did someone connected to the rulers of a kingdom, a little girl no less, have by being here? Especially as the timing suspiciously coincided with the village's destruction.

As soon as Fuji thought that, the emotions he had tried to suppress overtook him. The misery, the anger, the despair. The villagers were the last people that deserved to die. Even though Fuji had only known them for several weeks, he had felt, been a part of, the cheerful happy atmosphere of the village. He had met all sorts of people, those that had encouraged, supported him at the bakery, those that had been so crucial in creating a part of his life, and allowing him to become a piece of everyday life.

And now they, and the new life he was just starting to experience, were all gone.

"If you're from the castle, then why are you here?" Fuji asked.

The girl - Tomoka - took a deep breath before replying. "The castle was taken over by another kingdom's soldiers last night. Many villages are being threatened and some have already been bombed. It's not just the Kingdom of Sei either. All of the surrounding lands are now officially in war."

_

* * *

_

(Sakuno's POV)

The last time a war had occurred was several hundred years ago. At least, that was what the history books said and I had no reason to believe they were lying. Either way, Sei was unprepared when one of its neighbouring kingdom and its allying forces decided to start a war, with Sei and its rich and fertile lands as the prize. However, most of the other kingdoms had decided to take this chance for their own benefits, battling other kingdoms for wealth and land, with complicated, rushed alliances forming and breaking every day.

Both of the two boys seemed genuinely shocked that anything resembling a war could ever happen. Like most people, they thought that the kingdom would forever remain in peace and harmony. In fact, that would have been my exact thoughts a week ago. It also seemed as if their village had not received news of the war that had begun. It wasn't surprising, as Sei's communication was rather lacking.

The brunet - Fujiko was it? - was the first to process the news.

"So, uh _Tomoka_, if the castle was taken by the enemy, how did you escape? And why would they destroy a village?"

"Fear. They want to send a message that they can obliterate a village whenever they want to and prevent people from creating a rebellion that could overthrow their forces. After all, the lives of the people of another kingdom has no value to them, they obviously just want our land."

Another obvious fact was that Fujiko had seen through my fake name.

Tomoka. It was the name of my best friend, who was brutally and fatally stabbed on the night the enemy soldiers had invaded. Not only her, but my family and the hundreds of nobles, servants and other people that resided in the castle were massacred. It was only by chance that I was out riding when the soldiers appeared. With Tomoka. Who sacrificed her life for me to escape. Some friend I am.

Yet another fact remained that there was still something important that remained in the castle, documents containing the secrets and weaknesses of our allied kingdoms that would be devastating in the hands of an enemy. Without the help of our allies, Sei could never hope to defeat its intruders and win back its land and its freedom, and ultimately the war. My grandmother would always repeat to me that in times of an emergency, I had to retrieve those documents and hand them over to the royal family of Shun.

However, I knew I couldn't manage to sneak into a heavily protected castle by myself, but everyone I previously knew was dead.

The only people in the surrounding area that were on my side were the two boys.

I would have to ask for their help.

* * *

Eiji was in a state of shock and denial. His friends, acquaintances, the villagers, were _not_ dead. They weren't. But sooner or later, subconsciously, Eiji knew that he would have to accept the fact that they were gone. However, right now, the girl called Tomoka was a good distraction.

Eiji had understood by now that some sort of plane must have flown by and dropped explosives on the village. That was the humming noise he heard. He wanted to scream at himself for not realising sooner and warning the rest of the village, yet deep down, he knew that he would have been powerless to prevent the tragedy.

Instead, he wanted vengeance.

So when Tomoka hesitantly asked for assistance to retrieve some sort of documents, Eiji immediately agreed. Anything to make those bastards suffer for killing off his entire village, just to make a statement. He despised those that toyed with lives, and even though Eiji recognised that his bubbly self was slowly slipping away, a part of him was already dead, buried deep in the wreckage of his village. He had to let go of his naivety, his childishness and change.

This was war.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: This chapter gets a bit angsty. It probably seems a bit OOC, but then again, it _is_ an AU. A reminder that when people are angry, they tend to say hurtful things that they don't really mean and also lose their reasoning (in theory at least).

* * *

**Deserted of Memories**

Chapter Four

_

* * *

_

(Eiji's POV)

Fuji was worried. Hell, even that Tomoka girl was worried and she had only met me for what, a couple of hours at most? I mean, just because I wasn't bouncing up and down in joy didn't mean that I was suicidal or anything. In fact, I would say that had a right to be miserable. It's not every day that someone finds their village, their whole _life_ destroyed in a single moment. And the dangers of infiltrating an enemy base weren't helping much either.

Fuji should have expected me to become cold, frozen in anguish and hate. He should have known that I would drift around in my grief, needing only to make those responsible _suffer_. What did he want? For me to continue smiling, joking, _laughing_, pretending I was fine, and accept all the misfortunes that fate would throw at me? I didn't want concern, I didn't want sympathy; I just wanted revenge.

But the anxiety that clouded his eyes was killing me.

I didn't want him to worry over me, I never did. I had always been an elated, bubbly mass of optimism, enjoying all the possibilities life could offer. I wanted to radiate happiness to all those around me and make others smile just as vibrantly as I tried to. That's why the months after my family's disappearance had been the worst in my life. The whispers of understanding, the pitiful glances, they all felt so suffocating. Their compassion had always worked before, so they couldn't comprehend that what I needed was some brightness to dispel all the dismal moods that smothered me.

I hated it when people worried over me, because their worry would drag my mood down too.

Yet Fuji had no way of knowing this. He had only known me for a few weeks and he had his own amnesia to stress over. And even though I am thought of as having an energetic, open personality, I had long mastered the art of hiding my dark feelings. Compassion only went one way to me I could give it to others, but I would never accept it and the gloom that came with it.

Perhaps someday that would change. Perhaps someday I could trust someone enough to reveal my deepest emotions. But not now. No, right now I was perfectly fine in handling my sorrow by myself. Let them wonder. Let _Fuji_ wonder all he likes. I'll go back to my usual self and he'll forget all about this phase in my life.

_

* * *

_

(Fuji's POV)

It seemed like he hated me. The way his eyes would narrow every time he glanced at me. And who could blame him? I had lost nothing, maybe a home, but it was too temporary to count. I had no connections to anyone, I had no _memories_ of anything other than some vague dreams, I could never be hurt in the same way he was. In fact, there were several reasons why Eiji could have hated me. I abruptly settled in his life, took up the time he had with the rest of the village and was now a constant reminder of what would forever be lost to him. And because we had to walk the hundred of so kilometres of barren terrain to the castle, I had all the time in the world to try to decipher the new negativity that had now taken hold of Eiji.

Maybe I was just deluding myself.

For all I knew, Eiji was usually a dejected person. Maybe all the cheerful I had seen was just a fake personality. I hardly knew him, I couldn't know anything about how he usually is. We were just strangers who met by coincidence and who had only just become friends.

_Then why does the thought of him hating me hurt so much?_

I didn't want Eiji to hate me, to despise me. A world without his vivid smile, his tinkling laughter seemed so dull and bleak. Perhaps it was simply because he was the only person, excluding Tomoka, that I knew in this world. Without him I would be lost, without him I simply couldn't _survive_. I needed him, maybe more than he could ever realise.

On the topic of Tomoka, the girl was also very quiet. This created a tense silence between the three of us, interrupted only by the faint howling of the wind. The moon, the stars were practically non-existent, as thick, gray clouds covered the sky. I felt like I was walking towards my execution, the brisk pace set by Tomoka leaving me breathless as the night wore on.

That was when I truly began wondering over our mission. Tomoka claimed she knew several hidden passageways within the castle, yet with no real plan, how could three kids, including a 10 year old girl, ever hope to be successful against a whole castle of enemies? It was truly a path to self destruction, but my two companions seemed too distraught and possessed by thoughts of retaliation to even care. It was then that I decided that I would stop this hopeless suicide. Even if it meant I was hated. In fact, I was already hated. A spiteful Eiji was better than a dead one.

"We should stop."

My words were like a couple of brittle twig struggling to survive in a hurricane.

Doomed to fail.

I tried again. "Three kids aren't going to be much use against trained professionals."

More useless twigs.

"Look. It's foolish to throw away your lives away in the heat of the moment. I understand that you're angry but you still have to make rational decisions."

"No, you don't."

The quiet mutter of Eiji took me by surprise. Not because he was finally speaking, but because of his tone. The hostility was like venom soaking into the atmosphere, staining all with a harshness that I had never imagined before. He turned around to glare at me and suddenly, it was like we were in a world of our own, a world full of bitterness.

"You don't understand. You don't understand _anything_. No one important to you has died, the people you have known all your life, the place you spent your whole life in has not just up and perished. You will _never_ get it, because you don't _have_ anyone to care about. You don't have to worry over anyone, stress over anyone, because you have no one. You've forgotten them all and you don't know how lucky you are not to be caught up in such complicated feelings."

That struck a nerve.

"You think I'm _lucky_? You think it's good to spend hours constantly trying to find clues, trying to find something to show that you existed, that you had a life, looking for anything that can tell you who you really are? Do you know how it feels like to want to know something so bad it _hurts_, but so scared that what you might remember is something so traumatic that it caused you to lose your memory in the first place?"

I was losing my composure so fast. Why was I not in control of my own words? But I had continue, once I started, I found I just couldn't stop.

"Can you even imagine what it's like trying to suppress all the doubts, all the worries you have, simply because _strangers_ know you better than you do yourself? Where you have no idea on how you're supposed to feel, how you're supposed to act? Where you feel so excluded from the rest of the world, but can't say anything about it because that will just make you more of a burden than you've already become?"

Silence.

Was that a cue for me to continue?

I took a deep breath. Spoke in a calmer, quieter voice.

"Sometimes I hate myself. I wonder how I was stupid enough to get in a situation where I lost my memories. Even if it was just a knock on the head. Because if only I had been more careful, I would have never ended up in a situation like this. "

"So?"

Emotionless. Pitiless. And just so cold.

"Why should I care?"

_

* * *

_

(Eiji's POV)

I often wonder how I never saw the signs. How I never realised all the psychological torment Fuji was constantly putting himself through. Not on purpose, but the loss of his memories caused him to be unsure, unconfident, so self-doubting. He hid his troubles too well, behind that beautiful close-eyed smile of his.

But I was angry. Whether it was from my village's destruction, or simply the idea of just giving up, I was furious. And because of that, my reactions towards Fuji, towards the words in which he contained all his fears and insecurities, towards the moments where he let me glimpse his very _soul_, were detached, brutal and cruel. Every one of those sickly sweet words was a stab at his already defenceless heart. And a smile, full of malice, to accompany them.

"Why should I care? You said so yourself, indirectly or not, you caused your own pain, your own suffering and you only have yourself to blame. You _deserve_ what you got. But that's just you. People _died_ in that explosion, people who were my _life_, who were so important to me that frankly, I don't care what happens to me now, as long as I can do something, _anything_, to make up for their deaths. I just don't have anything worth living for anymore."

"Not even me?"

In that instance, I truly hated him. How did he know the only way to make me lose my resolve? Those sincere words, laced with that trace of hope, he would never know how much they affected me. In my inner turmoil, those words were the light that opened up a new path of optimism. And I hated him for that.

This wasn't supposed to happen. I had promised myself that I would no longer be affected by him, that my world would not go spinning out of control, reacting to everything he did. It was wrong of me to be crushing on someone amnesic and vulnerable, and another boy at that, but no matter what I tried, I couldn't make myself apathetic, I couldn't treat him like anyone else. All I did just seemed to hurt him.

_You're more important to me than you think._

"We should get a move on if we want to reach the castle before dawn."

Ah, that soft, timid voice. Tomoka. I had completely forgotten about her. And from Fuji's expression, he did too. Shows how much we think of her.

However, the long argument I had just participated in, I decided that a compromise was necessary.

"We should revise our plan. It's best if we infiltrate the castle when we're as prepared as possible. We're nearly there anyway, so let's make the best plan we can as we walk."

The rest of the walk was spent between an even faster pace, and the discussions of the hours to come. First, we would enter the castle by means of a secret passageway connecting the outside of the castle to the kitchen. Since Tomoka was so familiar with the castle, she also explained several different routes we could take to reach the royal chambers, where the safe containing the documents was held.

"We have the advantage of surprise," Tomoka reminded us. "They would not expect that anyone would infiltrate the castle, let alone children. As if everything goes by plan, we should arrive while most of the enemy are still sleeping."

And as the sky was finally beginning to brighten, we reached the castle.

The first thing I was aware of was the smell. Blood. Thick and fresh, and there seemed to be so much of it that I felt my head with full of that warm, sticky substance. Then, when we finally reached the top of the hill we had been climbing for the past several minutes, at last I was able to see for myself the carnage that had happened at the castle. It was sickening.

Mangled bodies lay everywhere, red liquid still oozing out from wounds that had been proven fatal. Faces contorted with terror, their last moments spent in agonizing panic, with no mercy in sight. Most of the corpses seemed to belong to the castle's original battle force and they had either been caught unawares or simply overpowered. The grass had been stained crimson with the bloodshed, the soil soaking up the remnants of life. And this was just the outside. Who knew what sort of slaughter had taken place inside the walls, were the only people in there were defenceless nobles and servants.

And this was the enemy we were going to have to go against.

* * *

A/N: So the first part of this was just basically angst. Then not so much. Then it goes gloomy again. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway. (Is that wishful thinking on my part?)

Either way, if you liked it, hated it, please review! Tell me how I could improve and I'd also be interested to hear what you think will happen later in the plot.


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